Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Panties = found
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