There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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