you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Success! We fucked roommates!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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