Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
