Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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