How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
