Why are handjobs necessary in class?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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