Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
