i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
