I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
