is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
