About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
