Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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