You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
