I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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