My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
