Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You pole danced in your parka.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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