you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
