went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
