I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
