operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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