I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he puts the penis in happiness.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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