Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
