I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Even the bartender felt bad for me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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