If i come over, it means nothing
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
