Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
