Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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