could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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