Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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