I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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