dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
