i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
