I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
