I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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