we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
