Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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