ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
