I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
