Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Come on in and take your pants off
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