I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
