so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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