turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
