i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
