When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
