I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
