WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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