hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
