I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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