you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
