do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
