Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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